There is a big focus on mental health and attempting to destigmatize it. We’ve come so far, and yet there are still so many stereotypes about people getting therapy in this day and age. I have never understood that. When I was 9, my parents got a divorce, and the first thing my mom did was take me to a child psychologist to make sure I was adjusting ok. I was always taught from a young age that therapy is a good thing. For a large portion of my life I wanted to be a psychologist. I no longer want to follow that path, but I love psychology classes and articles to learn more about the topic and help family and friends informally, even if I do not want to pursue it professionally.

My ex-fiancé was in the Army in Fairbanks, Alaska. When we were together, I do not remember the exact statistics, but there were something like 300 DUIs in the city when I was there because as people were returning from Iraq, instead of getting mental health help, as the military suggested, the military members did not want that reputation and would get drunk instead. Alcohol, ice covered streets, and cars are an even worse mix than just alcohol and cars. This was around 2008. I hope the military has made better progress with mental health and the way people view it now.

My husband has a TBI and PTSD from his car accident and we are very open with the fact that he has needed a counselor and we have gone to marriage counseling to deal with the ramifications of his injuries and his attitude changes. I know that I am heading towards a grief counselor as I am having a really really hard time accepting that my dad is gone. I am pushing through every hour of the day. I am having a hard time getting through some happy moments with my kids, and I don’t want them to grow up feeling that constantly and knowing that mommy was always sad.

I realized this morning that I have always had a good handle on mental health, even if I did not always understand it fully. When I was younger, my mom made me go to school unless I was actively sick with a cold. I am grateful she did not make me spread germs like other parents, especially since my immune system has always been horrible and I catch everything. I’m surprised it took me two years to catch COVID, to be honest. But I had days where I was overwhelmed for whatever reason and I wanted to stay home but my mom made me go to school. As a defiant child, I promised my mom that whenever my future child wanted to stay home from school just because I would let them.

As I think back on those arguments, I realize I was fighting for my mental health. And as I think about it as an adult, I fully support my defiance as a child. As a mom who will be homeschooling my children, we will not be using the traditional Monday through Friday 7am to 3pm model of school. That is not necessary. There will not be hundreds of children with breaks and lunches and a factory style needed to follow, which is where the current style came from; expecting children to be working in factories. Working with just a couple of hours a day at any given time, anywhere in or out of the house, taking field trips whenever we want, and focusing on topics my children are actually interested in, we will be able to be completely flexible. That said, if there is a day that my children wake up and they say they are just unable to cope and they need the day off from learning, I will respect that and we will take the day off to protect their mental health.

I know there are people that will say but that is not how the real world works. What about when they get a job? They can’t just call in when they feel overwhelmed. But you know what? They can. They cannot call in all the time, whenever they want. They need to have a strong work ethic. But even at my job, in my current role, they prioritize mental health, and they have told me that if I do need to call in because of my mental health, as long as I am not doing it all the time and compromising the actual business, then my managers support this. And if the job that they get does not support mental health, then they need to rethink the job that they get, because mental health is just as important as physical health.